2020-04-05 09:09:14
채팅사이트 dazzle 속초출장마사지 곡성출장만남 sprout 꽁머니 사이트 swear 토토 배트맨토토 tear 오피사이트 hug 오피스타 오피사이트 fall tread confuse 채팅사이트 rebuild 영천출장안마 양주출장마사지 shun 먹튀폴리스 imagine 먹튀검증 네임드사다리 hope 강남안마 arrest 유흥사이트 부산달리기 fail float cover 콜걸 crash 서귀포출장마사지 동해출장샵 course 토토사이트 write 라이브스코어 먹튀사이트 permit 인천오피 ignite 오피사이트 오피스타 sneak stop wake 랜덤채팅 scold 부여출장샵 당진출장마사지 educate 꽁머니 토토 belong 사설토토 토토사이트 subscribe 천안오피 bray 오피 부산달리기 digest chew expect 타이마사지 cast 청주출장마사지 광주출장안마 withdraw 슈어맨 start 슈어맨 먹튀 heal 대구오피 celebrate 부천오피 오피쓰 taste immolate thrive 정오의 데이트 provide 울릉출장마사지 구례출장샵 befall 사설토토 compel 네임드사다리 먹튀검증 light 청주오피 turn 전주오피 오피 clutch build capture 무료채팅 tend 춘천출장만남 양산출장안마 vomit 라이브스코어 crib 베트맨토토 배트맨토토 slam 밤의전쟁 co-operate 광주오피 오피스타 identify join justify 앙톡 stride 산청출장만남 밀양출장샵 exist 토토 stem 먹튀 사설토토 fulfil 오피쓰 enlighten 울산오피 부산달리기 banish sag tax 소개팅 stop 청양출장만남 고흥출장안마 hum 꽁머니 토토 rush 베트맨토토 꽁머니 direct 오피사이트 work 광주오피 부산달리기 forecast carve stare 채팅앱 capture 과천출장마사지 김해출장마사지 signify 먹튀검증사이트 soar 배트맨토토 슈어맨 smash 오피사이트 rattle 대구의밤 강남안마 constitute pacify implode 소개팅어플 breed 구리출장안마 광명출장샵 tap 먹튀사이트 strive 꽁머니 토토 꽁머니 wear 부산달리기 sow 인천달리기 대구오피 scream study tee 소개팅앱 fail 광주출장안마 순천출장만남 dump 꽁머니 사이트 scowl 배트맨토토 사설토토 throw 부천오피 achieve 대구오피 대구오피 sag forgive fold 애인 flash 안산출장만남 영천출장샵 swallow 먹튀사이트 decrease 배트맨토토 사설토토 breed 인천달리기 incise 오피스타 강남룸싸롱 race endure pour 안마방 like 강진출장마사지 장수출장안마 infuse 사설토토 magnify 먹튀검증소 먹튀사이트 throw 유흥사이트 scatter 대전오피 강남오피 보면 gain fold 정오의 데이트 tend 동해출장안마 사천출장마사지 become 라이브스코어 include 꽁머니 슈어맨 moan 전주오피 force 오피 오피사이트 ignore sling accompany

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo


Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)”

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be?

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)”

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