2020-04-05 07:40:56
플메톡 scale 담양출장샵 춘천출장마사지 fail 먹튀 inculcate 토토 토토 꽁머니 assert 대구오피 creep 인천오피 오피가이드 impress arrest chide 출장안마 exchange 밀양출장안마 부산출장샵 이정도면 꽁머니 토토 resolve 라이브스코어 사설토토 dye 강남룸싸롱 behave 오피가이드 강남룸싸롱 see enjoy bid 조건만남 worry 동두천출장샵 완주출장샵 beat 먹튀검증 ooze 먹튀검증 네임드사다리 uproot 천안오피 scorch 대구의밤 광주오피 feel guard order 채팅 trap 고성출장마사지 당진출장마사지 derive 안전놀이터 sample 먹튀검증소 슈어맨 inaugurate 부천오피 mix 울산오피 오피사이트 leave sew bear 애인대행 oblige 남원출장안마 양산출장만남 preset 먹튀폴리스 converge 꽁머니 토토 베트맨토토 stink 오피스타 wring 오피 밤의전쟁 accept inhale clutch 소개팅 burst 시흥출장샵 예산출장마사지 sway 꽁머니 wend 슈어맨 먹튀폴리스 scream 오피 foretell 대구오피 오피가이드 confess hatch omit 콜걸 많은데 순천출장만남 합천출장마사지 cope 토토 subtract 라이브스코어 꽁머니 토토 destroy 오피사이트 surmise 부천오피 오피사이트 consecrate guess merge 만남사이트 obstruct 통영출장샵 서천출장만남 mew 안전놀이터 bust 토토사이트 토토 꽁머니 blossom 밤의전쟁 confiscate 강남오피 오피쓰 rub notice omit 무료채팅 inform 칠곡출장안마 군포출장만남 forsake 먹튀폴리스 co-operate 먹튀 먹튀 promise 대구의밤 expand 오피쓰 오피사이트 strain spill moo 안마방 practise 영천출장마사지 영동출장샵 moo 꽁머니 토토 discuss 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀검증소 impair 부천오피 bind 대전오피 인천달리기 forecast calculate output 만남 push 고령출장안마 여주출장샵 imprint 꽁머니 click 사설토토 먹튀검증사이트 curve 오피 exist 오피타임 대구오피 course impart pass 안마 tie 영천출장만남 양구출장만남 peep 베트맨토토 attend 먹튀폴리스 토토사이트 crave 오피스타 oppress 인천달리기 강남안마 obtain drag prove 만남 어플 이런저런 정읍출장만남 대구출장샵 dine 네임드사다리 regret 토토 라이브스코어 empower 오피사이트 imbibe 울산오피 업소사이트 salve land crowd 콜걸 occupy 평창출장안마 성주출장샵 remain 메이저놀이터 cope 먹튀검증 먹튀폴리스 colour 천안오피 tire 오피스타 울산오피 partake reuse spell 소개팅 만남 carry 구미출장마사지 안산출장만남 weigh 안전놀이터 endanger 토토 꽁머니 검증 relax 강남오피 direct 부산오피 오피스타 engrave present stare

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)”

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be?

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)”

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