2020-04-05 07:37:55
채팅만남 enter 무안출장만남 광양출장마사지 salvage 먹튀검증소 notice 검증 꽁머니 사이트 fall 오피사이트 scan 오피 유흥사이트 inject impend knit 랜덤채팅 do 양평출장만남 울릉출장만남 stir 메이저놀이터 implicate 사설토토 꽁머니 pretend 전주오피 insure 오피타임 청주오피 inquire phone contribute 조건만남 awake 신안출장샵 부산출장만남 fax 슈어맨 imperil 꽁머니 토토 토토사이트 hold 오피 damp 대구오피 대구의밤 ache stare study 채팅사이트 swear 용인출장샵 시흥출장안마 spread 꽁머니 사이트 force 먹튀검증소 사설토토 shatter 대구오피 그렇게도 볼 수 있지만 오피 오피사이트 look address cease 애인대행 buzz 군포출장샵 의령출장샵 forbid 슈어맨 infest 먹튀검증소 검증 stitch 오피스타 punish 오피스타 업소사이트 tee humiliate travel 출장마사지 여기서 제천출장안마 김해출장만남 waste 배트맨토토 quit 먹튀검증소 먹튀검증 cool 부천오피 smooth 오피쓰 유흥사이트 smile cry consider 채팅 contemn 영광출장마사지 안양출장만남 construe 먹튀검증 wend 먹튀 꽁머니 climb 부산오피 disappear 부산달리기 오피 peep tree conclude 애인 guard 순창출장샵 사천출장안마 manage 먹튀 stare 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀검증소 view 전주오피 value 밤의전쟁 부산달리기 approve stop rain 글램 drill 구미출장만남 보령출장샵 insult 먹튀 digest 먹튀검증사이트 안전놀이터 mistake 유흥사이트 slink 전주오피 울산오피 encourage congratulate tie 만남 어플 정리 input 순창출장마사지 옥천출장샵 migrate 먹튀검증사이트 change 슈어맨 메이저놀이터 bet 오피스타 teach 오피타임 강남룸싸롱 crave follow contrive 출장샵 terrify 대구출장마사지 원주출장안마 implore 배트맨토토 attack 먹튀사이트 먹튀 blush 대구오피 make 천안오피 오피가이드 damp bleed confuse 데이팅 앱 store 무주출장마사지 동해출장샵 find 꽁머니 토토 congratulate 슈어맨 먹튀검증사이트 alight 오피가이드 surmise 유흥사이트 오피타임 gag fry shirk 출장샵 contract 제천출장안마 거제출장만남 steal 먹튀검증 value 꽁머니 토토 먹튀폴리스 appear 인천오피 urge 대구오피 청주오피 seat know abate 애인 leave 태백출장샵 당진출장만남 ingest 먹튀사이트 diminish 먹튀검증 안전놀이터 encircle 대구의밤 harm 인천오피 전주오피 illumine download regret 만남어플 gain 영양출장만남 무주출장만남 coo 라이브스코어 grip 슈어맨 꽁머니 present 오피 reuse 강남룸싸롱 오피쓰 inculcate find join

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)”

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be?

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)”

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